March 2026: Existing, Persisting… and Searching for Light

Week 1:

The month started on a Sunday… and that Sunday was rather busy for me. Some much-awaited news uplifted my family’s mood—relatives and neighbors gathered in the living room, chatting away… and I baked my first ever batch of brownies.

My family is very forgiving when it comes to rating my baking experiments. Both my parents have hardly had these things before, so most of the time it’s their first experience as well… cakes, brownies, waffles, soft-baked cookies—everything is “cake” to them, just some being under-baked!

The work week started slowly as we had a holiday on Tuesday for Holi… My Holi celebration is a quiet one—no getting ready in old worn-out clothes, no ganging up with friends at the corner of the street to color passersby, no chase-and-run chaos, no influencer-style “Holi parties” either…

We stayed at home, did our regular activities, applied a color tika on each other’s heads, and sought blessings from the elders—that’s about it.

Some people celebrated on Wednesday as well, so the shuttle service was closed… I went to the office on Thursday. I liked the empty hallways and the quiet bullpens—it allowed me to focus better.

For the capstone project, I decided to become proactive. Even though the full work requires collaboration with my batchmates, when they are occupied with other commitments, I can still continue my own explorations.

By the weekend, I took some interviews—and this time, I met some exceptionally talented candidates. One candidate was much older than me, had several degrees, had worked in many companies… but was currently unemployed. I try to be objective while evaluating each candidate. Talent is far more abundant in this world than opportunities—I’ve learned that firsthand… so I do not judge people for where they are.

I also baked a vanilla cake from scratch and whipped up some chocolate mousse with one secret ingredient—baked sweet potatoes…

Week 2:

Sundays are usually the least eventful for me. After many failed attempts at being productive on the only free day of the week, I’ve allowed myself to just let it be…

This week, I continued my proactive approach at both work and on the capstone project. There are now sync-up calls for the capstone even on weekdays, and I tried to make incremental, visible progress throughout the week instead of rushing everything at the last moment.

For work, though… the progress felt rather minuscule compared to the ever-growing pile of to-dos.

Everything was going well—except my health, which took a turn for the worse…

After feeling feverish and weak for several days, it finally escalated—my throat became congested and burning, with a cough and fever tagging along… and I basically became mute and bedridden overnight.

I visited a doctor and started medication. This time, I went to a new doctor—a neighbor who recently opened a small clinic. After writing what felt like a 500+ word essay as a prescription, he asked for our permission to take a photo… which, I assume, was meant for Facebook promotion.

I’ve quit social media long back… but because of things like this, my presence still lingers somewhere on the internet.

Even though my health was barely cooperating, I continued with work… and also participated in the weekend recruitment drive—because the organizer tends to make a lot of fuss over last-minute changes.

Week 3:

After debating with myself for quite some time, I finally took a couple of days off from work.

Not sure if it was the weakness or the side effects of the medication—but getting out of bed became the biggest challenge of the day… So I stayed in bed, rested, and kept eating whatever came my way (my parents became extra generous with meals since I was sick).

I still continued showing up for my capstone work—making small, incremental progress… because it’s very easy to lose track of time and end up doing nothing at all.

In the second half of the week, I picked up office work again. There were some changes in timelines—rather unrealistic ones—which would make the coming months even busier…

But I felt too numb to react to any of it.

I just wanted to get through the day… without overwhelming myself about the future.

During my sick days, I treated myself to waffles… and binge-watched several K-dramas. Hopefully, I’ll share reviews soon.

Week 4:

As I stepped into the last week of the month, my health finally recovered… which meant I had to catch up on my physical attendance at work.

Around the same time, my room’s ceiling fan stopped working—so I temporarily shifted to another bedroom. Not sure whether it was the change of bed or just my mind being restless… but I didn’t get good sleep on most nights.

And then, I had to wake up early to travel to work too…

Despite that, I managed to make decent progress at work and attended quite a few meetings.

But when it came to the capstone project… things felt almost stagnant.

After a week of irregular sleep, things finally returned to normal once the ceiling fan was repaired. It was slightly more complicated than expected since it was remote-operated and couldn’t be fixed by regular electricians—we had to contact the company’s customer support.

I ended the week by taking a few more interviews and syncing up with the professor.

Closing Thoughts:

Overall… I had this constant sinking feeling throughout the month. No matter what I did. It wasn’t intense enough to make me withdraw completely—I still showed up, still ate, still went about my days… but it was there. Quiet. Persistent. I couldn’t point to any specific trigger either.

It just sat there… waiting to be acknowledged.

What I Watched:

This month, I watched Twinkling Watermelor (2023), Boyfriend on Demand (2026), Can This Love be Translated (2025), Something in the Rain (2018), D.P. (2021–2023), One Spring Night (2019), and Snowdrop (2021)…

If you can’t tell already I am on a mission to find every last show with Jung Hae-in in it. I also stumbled upon a travel vlog series of his on YouTube… and, well, this is what I usually do—I like an actor and then go down the rabbit hole of everything they’ve ever worked in.

At this point, I genuinely think the only way to get over Hae-in’s face is to watch him play something completely unhinged… like a psychopath serial killer or something…