October 2025: Showing up to Life Again. #445

Week 1:

The month of October started on a Wednesday. Durga Puja and Navaratri were still on. I had taken the day off hoping I’d probably go out—maybe by myself, maybe with family—to see some pandals in the neighborhood… but that became a distant dream by the time we actually reached the event. My family’s idea of celebration barely aligns with mine, and honestly, I’ve grown too tired to convince anyone at this point. I gave in to the status quo once again—letting another “opportunity” to feel alive slip through my fingers.

I remained isolated, locked up in my personal hell, while my new phone arrived. Truth be told, I felt absolutely no excitement about getting a new phone after so long. Maybe because the sudden malfunction of the old one and the unexpected extra expenses left me a little too drained.

I finally set the new phone up. After joining work again, I had to chase IT support for a couple of days to get my work setups reconfigured. I still remember, before the Covid era, we only had desktops in the office. For weekend support, we used to get laptops—a team of 7–8 engineers had to share just one (sometimes two at best). There was a tiny device, about the size of a pendrive, that helped us log in remotely. A lot has changed since then—now you must have your phone on you to do literally anything.

During the weekend, our scheduled call with the professor got postponed by a few hours, giving me some extra time to work on the project. But after the call, for the rest of the weekend, I existed like a slug—doing absolutely nothing apart from eating.

By the end of the first week, it was Lakshmi Puja—something that’s now turned into a very intimate family ritual. No priest, no grand setup… just us.

The week ended with my focus shifting back to work. Somewhere in between, I also watched a really nice K-drama called Fight For My Way (2017).

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Week 2:

During the second week of October, work took center stage. After resolving all sorts of access issues, I was determined to make some real progress on my project. I decided to work remotely to save commute time—and with laser-sharp focus (and maybe a gentle nudge from heaven), I finally got things moving after a long phase of frustrating stagnation.

I also did some work for my college capstone project. It helped improve my understanding of the problem I’ve been working on, even though there wasn’t much tangible progress yet.

Over the weekend, I conducted a few interviews. My interest really piqued when candidates talked about projects similar to what I’ve been doing for my capstone.

Between the long days of work and training, I caught my breath with Queen of Tears (2024)—and, of course, a ridiculous amount of snacks.

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Week 3:

I entered the third week of October with a lot on my plate. I needed to travel to the office to complete my mandatory in-person hours, plus I was attending a training on some “cutting-edge technology”—ironically, the same one I’ve been exploring for my capstone project. It felt like a happy coincidence to find a high-quality training at work that was actually answering a lot of my questions for the capstone. The instructor, too, was really nice and approachable—his teaching style made the class so much more engaging.

To accommodate the training, I had to spend extra hours at work, making my weekdays longer and far more exhausting.

As Diwali approached, I finally buckled down and deep-cleaned my room—something I’d wanted to do since mid-September. I had promised myself a squeaky-clean space before the festivals, but health and work kept getting in the way.

The weekend before Diwali was dedicated entirely to cleaning the house. Thankfully, I didn’t have any classes or work assignments that weekend. Some pandals had already opened to visitors, even though the main puja was yet to happen.

On the day of Diwali, we set up lights, and my sister took charge of lighting candles in every room. Last year, I went out with my parents to witness the midnight puja at our local cultural club. This year, though, I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Surprisingly enough, Dad went out again this year—after failing to persuade either me or my mother to join him.

The day after Diwali, I went out with my mother and sister for some pandal-hopping. Every year, I have to practically beg my mother to step outside. Even though I get upset about her lack of enthusiasm to spend hours outdoors, at her age—and given her health—it’s understandable.

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Week 4:

The festive spirit and extended Diwali celebrations continued into the last week of October. I had already visited most of the popular pandals with my mum and sister, but a few were still pending. My dad accompanied me to finish them off. With Mum, I had gone out during the day—when the pandals were quiet but the heat was relentless, leaving us all exhausted and dehydrated. So, this time, I went in the evening with Dad. The streets were dazzling with lights; thousands of people of all ages were out walking, music filled the air, food stalls were everywhere, and there was a gentle breeze carrying the faint scent of late autumn.

After the underwhelming Navaratri celebration, Diwali truly felt like a breath of fresh air—lifting some of the heaviness off my chest.

Once the festivities ended, it was back to routine. I had to go to the office regularly for the rest of the month. Every morning, I’d drag myself out of bed, get ready, go to work—and by the time I returned home, I’d be so drained that I couldn’t even open my coursework.

My motivation and focus have been another battle altogether. Some days I moved mountains, and other days I couldn’t move a single muscle. That week, I finished watching another K-drama—My Liberation Notes (2022)—which, in a way, mirrored my own quiet internal chaos.

As the semester inched closer to its end, my monkey mind struggled to stay tethered to one thing. But somehow, we made it to the end of October. Can you believe that in just two months, 2025 will already be over?

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Picks for October 2025: 1. Goddess Kali, in her magnificent form(look at the real gold jewelries!) . 2. A beautiful pandal that we visited. 3. 14 candles on the evening before Diwali. 4. Oats-chocochip cookies, 5. New Paneer Recipe with bottle gourd, 6. Malpoya (yes. photo taken after taking a bite), 7. Hearty dinner of Idli, Sambar and Coconut- all prepared by mum.

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This month’s Korean Drama list highlights my love and appreciation for the incredibly talented actor Kim Ji-won. Check out my reviews. (This is a rare occasion of me being on-track with writing my reviews!!)

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