Week 1
The month started over the weekend. Our weekly sync-up with the professor got postponed… and I had no interviews to take either (still getting used to that).
This semester I’ve been quite haphazard with my coursework. I was cramming some last-minute reading before the call—so when I heard about the postponement, I just rode the momentum and finished the rest of the papers I had shortlisted. These days, AI tools have seeped into every corner of my life—studies, office work, even brainstorming how to make this dank blog any better.
That weekend, I talked to one of my batchmates and got some clarity about my next steps… and then the rest of the weekend was uneventful. I somehow held myself back from starting a new K-drama, but I absolutely failed to avoid doom-scrolling on YouTube.
When Monday arrived, the guilt of an unproductive weekend hit hard. From changing my sheets to washing my hair—I ticked off one thing after another.
I went to work for a couple of days. Some days I gave it my all, and other days I tried to get the ball rolling on coursework… but even after all this time, I still can’t manage productive days for both work and studies—at least 70–90% of the time. Work always takes precedence.
This week I did some impulse shopping from an Instagram ad. I kept refreshing my emails every day, tracking the order—only to find no updates. Small businesses make fantastic ads, but their service is always a hit or miss. I didn’t want to get disappointed in advance. After all, that’s how I discovered some great ready-to-bake cookie dough or soft-baked cookies back in the day…
For a moment, I even felt the old spark—the motivation to review food brands again, like I did nine years ago when I started blogging. Because honestly… my life on its own doesn’t give me much fun content.
I also heard that one of my classmates is pregnant. I should feel happy for her, but instead, I felt strangely numb. As a woman who might get married one day… have a child of her own… I still feel weird about the whole thing.
I remember visiting a clinic with my mum a few years ago. While waiting for my turn, I saw a high-school classmate sit across from me. She looked visibly unwell—likely in her third trimester—barely able to hold her head up. When her husband joined her, she rested her head on his shoulder…
I remembered her from school—tallest in the class, an early bloomer, fair skin, slightly brown hair, and a warm smile (even in her school ID!). We were never close, but seeing her after so many years made that smiling face flash in my mind, and I felt a little sad.
Pregnancy, I think, is far too romanticized. Yes, at the end of it there’s a new life you’ll love unconditionally… but the journey itself is not all sunshine and rainbows. So when I heard about my other classmate, all those thoughts came rushing back.
Week 2
The weekend wasn’t productive except for syncing up with the professor and chatting with the batchmates. Somehow, I have this incredible superpower—coexisting with crippling anxiety and doing absolutely nothing about it.
As the weekdays rolled in, I had no choice but to show up at work and double down on coursework to make up for the time I wasted.
The snack box from that Instagram ad finally arrived—and boy, I was thrilled to see my money not go to waste… I unpacked everything, took a tiny taste of each item, and stored the rest for later. I even clicked photos right away for the review.
Going to work this week was a hassle. Winter is creeping in—days are shorter… mornings chilly… and by the time I reach home, I can’t even take a power nap before sunset (prayer time—we avoid sleeping, eating, grooming, etc. during the auspicious period).
Work was a mix of strategic planning and random ad-hoc tasks. I felt a little sad turning down weekend interview slots—those interviews gave me extra cash and real-world exposure—but I had to prioritize coursework.
I also picked up some casual clothes for my parents from a pop-up store in my office building. Unlike last year, the T-shirts were a hit this time.
The whole week, I was overwhelmed, overstimulated, and anxious. But God’s help came just in time… saving me from myself.
Week 3
The week didn’t start productively. I had a ton of questions about semester-end.
Is this it? When will we be officially done? What’s left for us? How can I help?
Since we had to merge our individual parts into one working solution, we needed frequent after-work meetings. I was learning a lot—my teammates were patient while I figured things out on the go.
I went to work one day and took a couple of days off, thinking I’d get time for last-minute tasks.
But everyone was swamped at their jobs. My batchmates barely replied during the weekdays, which only worsened my anxiety. I didn’t know what progress we were making or how much I could contribute. The time off ended up feeling pointless.
Work brought its own disappointment. For the past year, I’d been working with an incredibly talented and kind senior engineer. Due to limited growth opportunities, she started exploring other roles. This week, she told me she’d received a new offer and was negotiating with our employer. I felt sad—sad to lose a teammate I truly admired, and sad because it reminded me how stuck I often feel in my own role.
At home, there was chaos—some internal, some from outside influences. I tried to stay calm and let the storms pass.
Week 4
In the last two weekends of the month, we demonstrated our work to the professor and a group of strangers. Even though the semester was almost over, the roadmap still felt blurry to me. After a lot of confusion, I ended up canceling my exam leaves and went to work to fulfill my mandatory on-site days.
We still had some time before our final class/presentation/catch-up (honestly, I still don’t know what the agenda is). So we slowed down a bit and focused on polishing our final submission.
Work-wise, I accepted the sudden shift in things… even though a sense of unease kept growing in my heart. But I had no choice—just show up every day and do my part.
As I waited eagerly for the semester to wrap up, my mind started buzzing with ideas for creative projects. I even baked two cakes over the weekends—it helped quiet my mind a little.
Among other highlights of November 2025, I finally shifted my ‘analytical brain’ to look at my finances. We all took our chances to break our backs by hand-washing clothes for yet another month.
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