October 2024: Was it a Hit or a Miss? #374

Week 1: A Stormy Start

October started with a bang – a big exam and a mountain of other assignments. Mom was down with a fever, and right behind her, I caught the cold bug. Somehow, I dragged myself to work for two days.

Just like last month, I wanted to plan my office days wisely. I needed to factor in my health, coursework, office workload, and even carpooling to cut down on travel time and costs.

By the weekend, I was flat out with a fever. Tears streamed down my face, and I felt weak and miserable. I spent the entire day in bed, scrolling through my phone, which made everything worse.

Recently, I’ve realized that it wasn’t my fault for being single. I used to think maybe I was too shy, guarded, or high-maintenance. But having high standards isn’t something to be ashamed of. I’ve always treated people with kindness.

Some people desperately need a connection to avoid feeling lonely. They jump into relationships so quickly that they can’t even see the toxicity. Even when they realize it’s bad, they’re too invested to let go.

Sure, a healthy relationship requires effort from both partners. But when you’re just looking for someone, luck plays a big role. You can try your hardest, but if the person isn’t right, it won’t work out.

I’m not expecting a miracle or a savior anymore. I just want to navigate life’s stormy waters on my own, with God’s guidance.

And guess what? By the end of the first week, God answered my prayers! I finally got paid for some freelance work I’d almost given up on.

Week 2: Lost in the Crowd

As much as I wanted to spread out my office trips throughout the month, my seniors suggested that traffic would be worse during the festival season.

For the first three days of the week, I volunteered again for the recruitment drive. My company offers reward points for conducting interviews, which can be used for online shopping. But this time, I didn’t get selected for any interview panels.

I had a holiday on Friday, making it a long weekend. We were already two days into Durga Puja, and I hadn’t left the house. I felt numb. The loud music from the community puja, photos of friends having fun – nothing affected me. I was ready to hibernate in my dark corner until the festivities were over.

While everyone else was enjoying time with friends and family, I felt an emptiness inside. It was easy to hide because I had work, and even if I didn’t, who would have asked if I was having a good time?

On the holiday (Maha Ashtami), I stayed in bed with a persistent headache. In the evening, despite feeling physically and mentally drained, I got ready and went out to see some nearby pandals with my dad. I wasn’t ecstatic, but being around the crowds and exploring different pandals distracted me from my negativity.

The next day (Saturday, Maha Navami), I decided to walk around the neighborhood and check out some more pujas. I felt much better. I regretted giving in to my lethargy earlier and staying indoors. By that time, some pandals had already started the closing rituals (Dusshera/Dashami) for the five-day festival. I had missed most of it because of my mental state.

I had office work, and I was still weak from the fever, but a positive mindset would have pushed me through.

Week 3: Navigating Chaos

October is a month filled with festivities for Bengali community. We rolled into the third week right after wrapping up Durga Puja. This week, we celebrated Lakshmi Puja, a puja performed in homes and shops to honor the goddess of wealth. It was a hectic week at work, trying to catch up on unfinished assignments and coursework. I was struggling once again to stay focused and productive.

During my downward spiral, I spent 7-8 hours a day doom-scrolling, and I couldn’t imagine concentrating on anything complex with a 5-second attention span!

Week 4: Eye of the Storm

I kicked off the last week feeling overwhelmed by a looming assignment, and a disappointing weekend that left me feeling drained.

A missed work training that turned into a blessing in disguise, but it was short-lived. Soon, I was juggling demanding work projects and late-night meetings. The stress of taking interviews over the weekend for my employer was unbearable. The pressure was mounting, and I was feeling the strain.

To top it off, a looming super cyclone and a series of mishaps, including a costly flight booking error, added to my frustrations. Despite these setbacks, I persevered, determined to keep a positive outlook.

As the month drew to a close, the workload intensified. Long hours at the office, remote work, and countless meetings left me feeling exhausted. Yet, I managed to find moments of joy midst the chaos.

Diwali brought a much-needed respite. Decorating our home with festive lights and colors lifted my spirits. It was a reminder that even in the busiest of times, it’s important to celebrate life’s simple pleasures.

Looking back on October, I’m grateful for the resilience and adaptability I’ve developed. While there were plenty of challenges, there were also moments of beauty and connection. As we move ahead into the rest of 2024, I’m hopeful and optimistic about the future.

Other highlights:

Finally watched the movie Challengers on Amazon Prime.
Another highlight was reconnecting with a childhood classmate who is now a university professor. It was a heartwarming reminder of the diverse paths we can take.
A late-night Kali Puja was another unforgettable experience. Witnessing this sacred ritual at midnight was a truly magical moment.

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