November 2024 began with yet another storm in my life. The city was alive with the buzz of Kali Puja and Deepavali, which started on October 31st and carried over into a weekend of celebrations. For most people, it was a time of joy and festivities, but for me, it was the final stretch before an assignment deadline—a time to buckle down.
Week 1: A Balancing Act: Festivals and Finals
I’d begun working on an assignment earlier in the week, but progress was painfully slow. It felt like I was swimming against a strong current, unable to finish even one question to my satisfaction. I’ve always believed in tackling my responsibilities head-on so I can truly enjoy celebrations without a nagging sense of guilt. But life rarely plays by the rules we set, does it?
Neither could I fully dedicate my weekend to coursework, nor could I relax and immerse myself in the festivities. The result? A stressful blur of days where my focus and peace of mind slipped through my fingers.
Each morning, I’d sit at my desk after breakfast, determined to solve at least one question. Hours melted away, interrupted only by quick breaks for meals or a trip to the restroom. I clung to the hope of reaching a milestone, allowing myself the freedom to step outside and soak in the festival atmosphere. But progress wasn’t linear—it felt like I was walking in circles, and the frustration grew heavier.
As the festival’s last sparks of celebration began to fade, I felt a sense of urgency. I couldn’t let the entire weekend slip by without experiencing even a sliver of the joy happening around me. Determined to break the monotony, I ventured out for two days to visit Kali Puja pandals with my dad. Kali Puja holds a special place in my hometown’s heart, and I couldn’t bear to let it pass unnoticed.
Unlike previous years, I didn’t try to persuade my mom to join us. She stayed back, content to witness just one nearby puja—a stark reminder of how quickly my parents are aging. It’s hard to decide whether encouraging them to step out for a breath of fresh air helps them or only adds stress to their routine. This year, the worry turned real when my dad nearly tripped on our way back home.
Balancing my needs and theirs felt impossible. I wanted to be there for them, yet I longed for a moment to break free, explore, and recharge. Loneliness has been an unwelcome companion during festivals—no close friends or colleagues to lean on. Walking alone seemed like an obvious solution, but my overprotective parents often quash that idea. It’s a frustrating cycle of co-dependence and isolation, one I haven’t figured out how to escape.
Despite the challenges, I’m grateful I carved out some guilt-free hours to enjoy the festivities. Admittedly, my assignment wasn’t shaping up the way I wanted, but I allowed myself to let go of perfectionism. Once I lowered the stakes, I found it easier to take small, manageable steps toward completion.
Then came work—a whole other beast. With my carpooling colleagues shifting offices, I was forced to opt for an expensive shuttle. Daylight saving time added to the chaos, pushing client calls late into the night. One call stretched past midnight, and I’m not even in a shift role or handling critical duties!
When I finally submitted the assignment, I felt far less confident than usual, but surprisingly peaceful. The race against time had left me worn out, but I knew I needed to focus on my health and work for the days ahead. Life is never perfect, but in embracing its imperfections, I’m learning to find moments of peace—even in the chaos.
I’ve come to realize that true success isn’t solely defined by academic achievements or material wealth. It’s about finding joy in the present moment, whether it’s enduring challenges with patience or embracing happiness with gratitude. This Diwali, I was able to strike a balance between celebrating with family and meeting my academic responsibilities, a small victory that brought me immense satisfaction.
Week 2: The Office Grind and the Academic Pursuit
The second week of November 2024 saw my focus shift back to the grind of office work and my capstone project. But let’s be honest, neither felt particularly inspiring. Office tasks have become a strange mix of randomness, lacking clear goals or opportunities for learning—just a blur of busywork to stay on top of.
To make things harder, daylight saving adjustments meant my meetings now stretched even later into the night. On one hand, I wanted to catch the first shuttle to work, which required waking up at 6 AM to beat the traffic. On the other, my meetings dragged on until 11:30 or even midnight. While it wasn’t a solid 15-hour workday—there were breaks for commuting, meals, and small pauses—it still left me feeling utterly drained by the time the last meeting wrapped up.
I considered switching things up—maybe starting work in the afternoon instead and adjusting my commute. It sounded promising, offering a few extra morning hours for myself, but the trade-off was potentially adding 30-40 minutes to my commute in heavier traffic. I decided to hold off on changing routines for now; sometimes even small adjustments can ripple into bigger disruptions.
Strangely, I felt more productive on work-from-office days, even though they left me sleep-deprived and utterly wiped out. Perhaps the change of environment gave me a push, but the cost was undeniable.
One regular highlight during my bus rides to work has been spotting an old classmate. She’s now a college professor, and I sometimes wonder if her career offers better pay—or at least a healthier work-life balance. I try not to dwell on comparisons, but every so often, the question sneaks in: Is this path I’ve chosen worth all the stress and exhaustion?
Meanwhile, my capstone project loomed in the background. I did some research, but progress was frustratingly slow. Add to that the finals creeping closer, and the stress started piling up. It was another week where exhaustion and self-doubt shared the spotlight.
Week 3: A Quiet Storm
The third week of November 2024 was probably the quietest in the month, though not without its own share of tasks and challenges.
Work brought a few unexpected curveballs—nothing groundbreaking, but enough to disrupt the flow. I found myself sitting through a series of meetings, absorbing new information, and gaining exposure to a different type of work. It wasn’t especially demanding, but it did add a layer of unpredictability. At the same time, I focused on wrapping up my regular project work, aiming to tie up loose ends before stepping away.
On the study front, though, progress was painfully slow. One project still had about 90% of the work left to do—a daunting figure—and on top of that, there were stacks of reading material and practice papers waiting for attention.
I carved out a few hours in the mornings to tackle the coursework, trying to chip away at the growing pile. But as soon as I switched gears to office work, it consumed my focus entirely, leaving little mental bandwidth for anything else. By the time I crawled into bed, the day felt like a blur of unfinished tasks.
It was a week of trying to balance two worlds, but neither felt particularly fulfilling. A lot was left undone, but sometimes, just holding steady through the chaos is its own kind of accomplishment.
Week 4: The Final Push: A Journey to Hyderabad
The weekend before the exam felt like a storm I had to weather. One of our professors, having wrapped up lectures early, wanted to dive into sample questions—a helpful initiative, but my mind was in overdrive with everything else on my plate:
- Packing: Still not done.
- Study materials: I needed to shortlist resources, print them out, and minimize screen time by studying offline.
- Capstone project: With my teammate swamped at work and responding late, the high stakes (it carried more than half the course’s weightage) were a constant source of stress.
- Health issues: After two years of consultations, I still didn’t have answers. My health was in a downward spiral again.
- Travel and exams: The thought of traveling while unwell and attempting to perform under these conditions loomed over me like a dark cloud.
My Trip to Hyderabad
The days leading up to the trip felt like a relentless race against time, made harder by my physical and mental state. Thankfully, my mum decided to accompany me, offering a steadying presence amidst the chaos. Last-minute packing was stressful, but an old packing list I had prepared a year ago came to my rescue—organization really does pay off!
Once on campus, my singular focus was study, study, and study, as if my life depended on it.
Ironically, my phone’s inability to connect to the hotel WiFi turned out to be a blessing, forcing me to avoid distractions and dive deep into preparation. However, back pain became a constant companion, compounded by anxiety and discomfort in an unfamiliar place. Sleep was a luxury I could barely afford—4 to 5 hours a night, if that—but I gave it everything I had.
The finals were grueling. I completed exams for two subjects and managed to pull off a last-minute presentation with my classmate. The exams didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, but I was relieved to have crossed the finish line. The presentation was a minor miracle, given how rushed everything was—it felt like divine intervention gave us the push we needed to get through it.
Miraculously, my older health issues seemed to take a backseat in those last few days. Anxiety, sleep deprivation, and back pain lingered, but they didn’t stop me.
After the exams, I wandered the college campus, letting the cold breeze and the gentle sound of a fountain wash over me. In that quiet moment, all the stress, pain, and sleepless nights seemed to evaporate. Where had they gone? Perhaps they packed up and left as soon as I handed in my last paper.
Other Highlights:
- A Surprise at Work: I received a token of appreciation at the office, completely unexpected but deeply uplifting.
- Grades Published: One set of grades was released. While my results weren’t bad, others’ stellar performances made me reflect—am I truly giving my best? How can I ensure I leave no stone unturned?
- Breakfast Bliss: During our trip, the hotel breakfasts were a treat. Every morning, we indulged in authentic South Indian delights—uttapam, Mysore bonda, vada, pongal, idli—paired with sambar and coconut chutney. It was a small but comforting joy amidst the chaos.
- A Spiritual Connection: I stumbled upon the teachings of Premananda Maharaj from Vrindavan. Even through a phone screen, his wisdom resonated with me, filling me with a sense of peace. His words reminded my mum of her own Guru, sparking a moment of deep connection and reflection.
The week was a whirlwind, but in the end, it left me with a sense of quiet accomplishment. The exams, the travels, the moments of exhaustion and joy—all of it seemed to fall into place, even if imperfectly. Sometimes, surviving the chaos is the biggest victory.
Closing Note:
As November draws to a close, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the experiences gained. The challenges I faced have shaped my character and strengthened my resilience. I look forward to the future with hope and optimism, knowing that every hurdle, no matter how daunting, can be overcome.
That’s all for today. See you in another one!
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