June ’25 // Week 1
The month of June ’25 began on a Sunday — a quiet, uneventful weekend. I spent the entire day cooped up in my room, glued to the screen… Evening walks and the long-pending deep cleaning have now been paused indefinitely.
Getting back to the work routine on Monday felt especially difficult. But for the rest of the week, I went to the office and made decent progress on a particularly challenging assignment.
This week, I also started watching a new show: Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Honestly, I thought I was done with shows. I tend to finish a whole season in a day like some kind of psychopath. But this time, I forced myself to watch just one episode a day… I don’t know how other people do it!! It was so hard… But it did something too.
Lately, life has felt chaotic and stressful. There are things weighing me down, making me feel suffocated, and the routine has become painfully monotonous — wake up, get ready for work, work, eat a ridiculous amount of food, doom-scroll through YouTube, and pass out. But now, suddenly, I had something to look forward to — a new episode, a new story every day.
It reminded me of my childhood — back when TV shows aired weekly and movies on TV felt like events we waited months for. We couldn’t record anything, couldn’t binge-watch… and now that idea feels almost bizarre.
By the end of the week, I spent the weekend taking a few interviews for my company. On Sunday, I finally let myself relax — washed my hair, baked oats-choco chip cookies, and enjoyed hearty meals made by Mum.
June ’25 // Week 2
The second week flew by in a blink. I went to the office for four days, waking up at the crack of dawn, hopping onto the shuttle, and mentally preparing myself for the day. Working from the office is okay — better, even — when fewer people are around. After working remotely for four years, I’m still adjusting to the in-person environment, where people are constantly speaking in their meetings or casually chatting nearby.
Sometimes, the quiet meeting rooms feel like the walls are closing in on me… but when I sit in the common area with a nice window view, there are far too many distractions.
Work-wise, I was continuing with some experimental tasks, and the results kept me on a maddening emotional roller coaster. We were supposed to present everything to stakeholders in the following week. I also got nominated for a 6-month-long training program at work. While the opportunity to learn something new excited me, I couldn’t shake off the anxiety of managing it alongside my semester commitments.
By the end of the week, I wrapped up the experimental work — but there was no groundbreaking outcome to sell. After working on it for about 5–6 months, the finish felt a little underwhelming.
Over the weekend, I took more interviews. Some of the candidates were hardworking and genuine, but lacked proper guidance. Some were older than me, some had more degrees, some were married with kids… It felt strange — we’re all running this race called life, but each of us began at a different starting point, moving at different speeds toward entirely different finish lines.
And yet, we often obsess over who’s ahead or who’s behind. Talking to people from such diverse backgrounds — in age, education, and experience — felt strangely heartwarming.
June ’25 // Week 3
Week 3 was the downhill slope for both my physical and mental health. I was working remotely and, somewhere in the middle of it, I finally finished Extraordinary Attorney Woo. I took a sick day and stayed in bed all day. I had been ignoring my health for weeks in the name of work… but this time, my body forced me to stop.
I started watching Ginny and Georgia Season 3 this week.
Most of the week, I stayed in bed, numb, spiraling in a quiet despair. I don’t even feel like calling a friend anymore. Mindless eating and reckless spending became my new rhythm.
Toward the end of the week, I had more interviews to take. And finally, I pushed myself to step out for a walk — something I hadn’t done in probably 3 or 4 months.
June ’25 // Week 4
Taking interviews is great, but it eats into my already short weekends. Sundays have become bullet trains of activity — room cleaning, hair wash, content creation, walking, studying… At this point, even watching Netflix feels like a chore.
After failing to limit myself to just one episode a day with Ginny and Georgia, I had decided to “pause” Netflix for 9 days as a form of punishment… but I quickly realized that I would just fall into the bottomless pit of reels instead.
So I started a new show — Mr. Queen. This time, I went back to one episode a day.
As the week started, work demanded my focus again. And the familiar question returned — Will my contract be renewed? What’s next? I was coping with the uncertainty by avoiding it altogether. I continued with my work and personal tasks, pretending everything was fine.
But there are other pressing matters in my personal life too — the kind I no longer feel in control of. Still, I carry on like everything is sunshine and rainbows… until something or someone comes along and pops the illusion. And thanks to my parents, in their effort to hold on to their illusions, they never miss a chance to burst mine.
I ended the month with a squeaky clean bedroom —
Sheets? Washed.
Curtains? Washed.
Furniture covers? Washed.
Cobwebs? Not even one.
I even cleaned the window frames with soapy water and mopped underneath the bed — things our maid would never do.
You might wonder — Haven’t I been cleaning rooms for weeks now? Well, yes. But this time, I finally got around to doing my room completely. I had been focusing on other bedrooms and the living room before. And I can only do all this on Sundays, if my health allows and if there’s no other pressing task.
Highlights of June
This month, I was experimenting with date cakes. I also make some oatmeal-banana with overripe bananas. Made those lovely mango-flavored kalakands with the milk that curdled… and those Aam sotto/Aam papad bites (similar to fruit leather made with mango pulp). Mum made idli after a while with sambar and tomato chutney… And the last one is a flower that I saw somewhere on the street.
That’s all for today, see you in another one!
May 2025: Half-Cleaned Rooms & Half-Healed Hearts
May 2025 was a quiet storm—filled with unfinished plans, emotional weight, and small acts of survival. Between academic deadlines, isolating work stress, and a deep sense of disconnection, I found fleeting comfort in cleaning rituals, K-dramas, and the quiet gestures of home. It wasn’t the restful break I hoped for—but somehow, I kept going.
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