October 2026: Durga Puja and A Mix of Many Things

October 2026 might have been one of the busiest months of the year for me… and, ironically, the quietest month for my blogging channel. Now that we are approaching the end of the month, I find myself scratching my head and wondering: “What did I even do this month?”

Well, quite a lot, apparently. Just not necessarily the things I had planned to do.

Week 1

The month started with an unexpected load of work getting dumped on me… the kind of work that could probably suck the soul right out of me. I already had my regular responsibilities, along with preparations for my tests. And now, this? It looked like the most important of the three was at the risk of getting pushed out of my daily agenda.

I remember having a mental breakdown right before one of the tests and then the test went horribly as well. When I finally saw the results, I was more numb than sad.

Office meetings had increased from 2–3 in the late evening to 6–8 meetings starting early in the morning and spreading across almost every hour of the day. For someone with a fairly hands-on technical role, these hourly meetings completely killed my productivity. Meetings where I would have to sit with 40 other people, without even knowing whether anyone would actually have anything for me… I even went to the office for a couple of days, moving along with the crowd like a slave.

The weekend could barely rejuvenate me. I was dead beyond death, with my physical and mental energy running at a net negative.

Week 2

Office work remained as stressful as ever. Not my regular responsibilities, but the ad-hoc stuff that had been handed over to me. Along with that, I still had my tests to deal with.

At this point, I wasn’t really preparing for the tests anymore. I was just showing up, praying to heaven to let me survive one more day…

On the family front, things were getting tense as well. My mother needed to undergo a medical procedure. For the last three years, she had always managed to find one excuse or another to postpone it, despite my repeated attempts to convince her. Sometimes, the excuses stemmed from her fear of going under the knife; at other times, she was worried about being a burden on the family or the medical expenses. And now, she had finally reached a point where she could no longer come up with another excuse, due to the chronic pain and discomfort.

I wasn’t in a position to take a couple of days off from work, so I somehow managed to get just one day. I did go to the hospital to complete the paperwork, get her admitted, and eventually get her discharged. My sister stayed the night with my mother at the hospital, while my father also spent a considerable amount of time there during the day.

Everything went smoothly, with Guruji’s blessings.

I was already at a breaking point. I was genuinely afraid that I would either end up yelling at someone at work or have a complete breakdown in public. I cannot explain every little detail of everything that was going on in my life here, but looking back, I don’t think I was overreacting at all…

Week 3

The work and the tests continued. I punched in at the office on a couple of days as well, spending many precious hours of my life stuck in the evening traffic.

And then came Durga Puja!

Usually a five-day-long festival here, the first day happened to fall on a Friday. Unfortunately, I had a quarterly engagement scheduled for the late evening, with ad-hoc calls scattered throughout the day. This made it practically impossible to step out, even for an hour.

Then came the weekend. The Puja festivities had already begun, but, as expected, I lacked the energy to even pretend to be alive. I stayed cooped up in my room, spending most of my time in bed.

On Sunday, I took my father out for his Puja shopping or rather, I should say, my father made me go with him for his Puja shopping.

My mother, on the other hand, was struggling with post-operative pain and discomfort. On our way back home, I could spot two or three small Puja pandals, which lifted my mood just a little.

I want to be a nice daughter, a reliable sister, an understanding friend, and a sincere colleague. But at this point, I could barely find it in me to be a regular girl and enjoy the festivities.

Years of overwork, stress, anxiety, and that inexplicable need to bend over backwards to please others have left me depleted; physically, mentally, and spiritually.

During the five-day-long Durga Puja festival, I gave it my all on Nabami (the fourth day).

It was a holiday at work, so I went to the temple with my sister in the morning. Lunch was a simple meal prepared by my parents, as our cook didn’t show up. Then, in the evening, I went out for a walk with my father to explore a few more pandals around the neighbourhood.

These were small-scale Puja pandals put together by local communities. No fancy themes, no media coverage, no elaborate arrangements… just neighbours collecting some money, coming together, and organising the Puja. Sometimes, these little community celebrations have their own charm.

On another unexpected note, after being locked out of my personal Instagram account for the last couple of years, all of a sudden, I was able to access it again! I received an email, followed the instructions, and just like that, I was back in.

Having been away from social media for so long, I had absolutely no idea how many of my classmates were now married. Quite a few of them had even welcomed their little ones into the world!

It felt a little strange to catch up with so many years of other people’s lives all at once.

Week 4

Durga Puja was over, and that ad-hoc work was finally scoped out of my team’s responsibilities (cannot thank heaven enough for that!). I was back to my previous routine.

The days, however, remained stressful.

My family has its own ways of keeping me on my toes. I must never rest, never live a single day without worrying about the future. And then there are relatives who would conveniently slip in an insult under the guise of genuine concern.

I am, unfortunately, not a smart-talker. I cannot clap back with savage responses to taunts or come up with a witty reply at the right moment. I end up feeling hurt, disrespected, and stepped on.

This is a different kind of pain. It isn’t the same as being crushed under a mountain of work, getting rejected in interviews, or constantly struggling to find some stability in life.

The only way I can describe it is:

“The face took longer to heal than the hand that slapped it.”

I went to the office for a couple of days and managed to squeeze in a few walks between intense brainstorming sessions with AI.

The month wasn’t all bad, though. There were some small pockets of energy boosters, a few moments of reassurance sprinkled throughout the chaos. Not enough to make me feel completely at ease, but enough to remind me that there is, perhaps, some light at the end of the tunnel.

And maybe, for a month like October, that was enough.