January 2026: The Eye of the Storm.

January 2026, Week 1:

The month and the year started on a Thursday… I had already dragged myself to work for compliance during the last two days of 2025… I probably would have done the same for the first two days of 2026 as well — but there was no shuttle service to take me there…

Winter’s grip was getting tighter; every morning it was the same ordeal to get out of bed.
1st January was probably duller than even a regular day in my life, starting with a cold breakfast, opening office work without much interest or excitement about anything… An import client engagement call got cancelled, unexpectedly giving me two guilt-free ROT days…

As I rolled into the weekend, we had our first class of the semester, so the semester break was hardly two weeks… My mind was clouded with many thoughts but absolutely no motivation for work or studies… Right before my final submission, I had been thinking of building a web app for myself… Something that could add real value to my personal life and since I have never built anything like that before, it would also be a learning opportunity…

But when the final submission was done, I was simply exhausted… I didn’t want to go anywhere near my PC; forget about writing code or solving any more problems beyond my day job.

That weekend, I had a sudden boost of motivation and, with the help of AI, managed to finish a small part of that solution. It was the lowest-hanging fruit of the lot, but it still made me feel nice…

And then I baked a chocolate cake from scratch for the first time… I have probably made four or five chocolate cakes before, all from different box mixes… This was the first time I sourced all the ingredients, followed a recipe step by step, and baked the cake.

In the meantime, one of my cousins was visiting us. She too had a semester break, and her parents had no plans for a trip… My cousin is fairly well-read, but strangely aloof at the same time…

During her 2–3 day stay, I was extremely busy, so she mostly hung out with my sister… Finally, my sister found someone who wouldn’t shut her down when she went on and on about something she’s overly passionate about…

January 2026, Week 2:

The second week felt like the longest a week can ever get… It started with a working day, so I managed to punch in just one day before the weekend rolled in…

The weekend, however, was chaotic. I had back-to-back interviews scheduled. I had specifically asked to skip the time slot when I had a sync-up with my professor and batchmates, but somewhere along the chain my message didn’t get forwarded, and the recruitment team blocked my entire day. By the time I found out, there was no option to back out, so I decided to deal with it in real time…

I called up candidates and requested to move their slots by 30 minutes to an hour… Some picked up, some didn’t… but I managed to free up the first hour of my sync-up. I was still worried the professor might reschedule the call to the second half of the day, throwing my entire plan under the bus… Luckily, that didn’t happen.

I attended the class and then jumped straight back into interviews.

Despite all the coordination chaos, I genuinely enjoy interviewing people… It’s my only chance to meet extremely talented individuals who tell me how they solved complex problems at work, without me having to cozy up to them for months…

At this rate, Saturday became my busiest day… and guess what? I baked another chocolate cake from scratch. I may still have a long way to go to perfect it, but I was craving the one I baked the previous week…

Sunday was busy too… I watched some K-drama during the day… After a grand lunch, I finally washed my hair and got a new haircut… After an early dinner, I took my dad shopping. Both of these things had been on my mind since late November last year… The shop turned out to be more budget-friendly than I imagined — it didn’t burn a hole in my pocket to buy a little something for everyone at home…

But the tail end of Week 2 became extremely heavy and bothersome… More work. More responsibilities. More meetings that sucked the life out of me… I became irritable, distant, impatient… I couldn’t sense even a hint of hope in anything I was doing.

This week, I was watching It’s Okay to Not Be Okay.

January 2026, Week 3:

The third week didn’t start any better… Office work was haphazard and demanding… A call with some big execs, something I had been quite anxious about, got cancelled… but then came tasks that required more long-term planning, something I’m not naturally good at.

I was pulled into a side-project discussion, but the enthusiasm for learning something new was completely replaced by loathing the team’s unprofessional work culture, lack of sincerity and under-recognition of hard-work.

Over the weekend, I took more interviews and meeting these candidates is something I have genuinely come to enjoy… Our professor cancelled class at the last moment, giving me a breather I desperately needed but hadn’t allowed myself to take.

As another work week began, the dark clouds in my mindspace slowly started to clear… I tried to clear my plate — instead of trying to be everywhere and do everything, I set priorities for myself. The moment I started saying no to certain meetings and extra work, the inertia began to dissolve… I worked more productively. My anxiety subsided.

This week, I started watching My Love from the Star.

January 2026, Week 4:

The fourth week rolled in with an easier breeze… After debating with myself for days, I finally decided to take an entire week off. I haven’t taken more than three days off in the last 6–8 months… and I had been working weekends too; because of the interviews.

Even though I had nowhere to go and no one specific to meet… it wasn’t a semester break, not exam season, and I wasn’t bedridden either… I just felt I needed to take a break before I wrecked my mental health completely. My foreign manager’s repeated encouragement to take time off is worth mentioning as well.

During the last weekend, I took some more interviews — selected some, rejected others… The market has changed so much in the last few years… Every candidate comes with a solid portfolio — leaving no room for mediocrity to survive. Most candidates I interview are in the 5–9 years of experience range… but sometimes I come across senior candidates applying for significantly lower positions. I’ve even interviewed candidates with PhDs applying for junior or fresher-level roles… As a panelist, I try my best to stay unbiased and evaluate purely based on interview performance… but it makes me think, how everyone is trying to get ahead… or maybe just trying to survive, one day at a time.

The time off wasn’t very productive or eventful… Originally, I had planned to turn my routine around — clean my room, read a book, visit a nearby temple I’ve been meaning to go to for a long time… but when the time came, nothing happened.

I remained cooped up in my bedroom… The short trip got cancelled because I had asked my family to accompany me — but anything extra in my mother’s routine leaves her overwhelmed and drained. Things became worse when the cook took unexpected time off. I could have gone by myself… but when you’re already struggling with your mental health, it becomes harder to push beyond the bare minimum.

So I let myself drown… in the despair and that unnamed pain that lives deep inside my body — surfacing occasionally… tightening around my airway as if to whisper: How dare you keep living every day? Am I not hurting you enough… or should I press a little harder?

All in all January 2026 was the month of quiet survival. I didn’t build the web app. I didn’t visit the temple. I didn’t transform my life in a month. But I showed up where I could… and when I couldn’t, I rested, even if that rest looked like crying in the dark. Maybe January wasn’t about momentum. Maybe it was about endurance.

Mum’s Kofta recipe is getting better day by day. Blessed to have such lovely lunch boxes packed by her.
In my 1st attempt of baking a chocolate cake from scratch, I couldn’t manage to take a pic. So here’s one from my second attempt. The cake was super soft and decedent.
A traditional drink made from soaked aromatic rice, ginger, sugar, coconut water and coconut pulp. (Nabanna)
A traditional sweet dish, made from rice, served with jaggery syrup and grated coconut.